Monday, February 1, 2010

Adopting An Older Child

According to our homestudy, we have been approved to adopt a child between the ages of 7-13.

So why an older child, you may be wondering? A few years back I answered it in this post.

The very first time we decided to adopt back in January 2005, there was no question that we wanted an older child. Sure, it was mainly due to us already having six biological children and not desiring to have another baby, but also partly due to the fact that older children have even less of a chance of being adopted. Because there were no diapers involved with an older child, that appealed to us too.

Now that we actually have our daughters home, life with them now is even better than I had imagined it. Had we adopted our daughters when they were younger, I am not sure we would have been blessed with learning as much as we have about them. A baby can only remember so much, and yes that's good because maybe they won't remember what happened to put them in the orphanage to begin with, but it has been such a Godly experience to have our girls open up to us and learn to trust us at their most vulnerable times in their lives, that I know I would not have gotten these special moments had they been younger.

They each, have such amazing stories, it is hard to not be affected by each detail they share. I have often felt like I was there with them as they relive the pain and the sadness through what they tell me. I am in awe, how strong and how willing each of them came into our home, trusting that life has more to offer than what they had been previously handed. I am honored that they have basically handed me their lives and asked me to fix them. My girls have cried in my arms as they bared their soles, and they have yelled at me in sheer frustration. My girls have questioned my authority finding it hard to believe that an adult can be trusted and my girls have snuggled in my arms free to be a little girl again. They probably think that they are the lucky ones to have a loving family, but it is I who is grateful that I am now a part of their lives. I am so blessed to be their mom.

I want to encourage anyone out there that is thinking about adopting an older child, specifically a daughter, to take that leap of faith and follow your heart.

With that said, I know it may seem ironic that we are now in the process of adopting a much younger, little boy. In addition to the many reasons that my husband shares in his one and
only post , I can only add that this is what God has laid upon our hearts at this time. The key again, is following wherever God leads you.


Kathy C. said...

Both younger and older have blessings and challenges. My twins are four so I'm not sure if that's younger or older. They will be five in May. I don't know how much they really understand, if they know this is their permanent home now etc. But they are doing really well considering they've been through an earthquake, cargo flight and saying goodbye to 78 of their friends all at once.

Can't wait to see what child God brings into your lives.

Shari said...

Well said Dear! I can't wait to see where this journey takes you!

Anonymous said...

I feel led to mention Natalia and Yuri who are older other angels with mild needs who are already in a mental institution. They had a family committed for along time and have now been waiting for years. Just look at Natalia's blue eyes and those eye lashes *sigh* tis just wishful thinking...I hope someday someone will see the beauty in these two I do (I do not qualify to adopt them)

Kelly said...

I have really been thinking about older girls lately. That is what God called us to do and why we started the process to adopt. We are now adopting a sibling group of 3 (b6,g5,b11m)from foster care but I can't say we are finished as my heart is still with a little girl 7-10 years old. Follow wherever He leads.

MamaPoRuski said...

Can't wait to see who God has in store to change your lives for eternity! So exciting!

Roxy said...

Our little one came to us at 4 1/2 with so much fear, pain, anger frpm being mistreated by adults and with love, lots of love, the transformation was amazing. Fwd 3 1/2 years later and she is is the most loving, life loving, caring sweet child. Older children can be initially challenging but to see them heal is an amazing gift. Christine, I know you know the challenges and I admire you for not being affraid of it. That is because you have so much love to give that you know you can face any challenge that God puts in front of you. God bless you!

Annie said...

There are challenges, but I couldn't be happier with my four older adopted children. I think that the challenges are often overblown (I'd say two of the four have been as easy as my homegrown children) and I think people underestimate the challenges in adopting infants and toddlers. In some ways it is far easier talking about adoption to a person who was aware of it when it was happening. All of the emotional pieces that come from being adopted still have to be processed by children who were adopted as babies...and I'm almost beginning to think that the process is much harder for them sometimes.

Anonymous said...

are you looking at adopting an older boy or girl, or are you open to either? good luck on your journey :)